So-net無料ブログ作成

(440) A Survival Game [joke]

「英語の笑い話」というブログでこのJokeを読みました。残念ながら2011910日にブログ終了しているようです。

A Survival Game (Joke)

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and three kids each for six weeks.


car and 3 kids.jpg

Each kid will play two sports and take either music or dance classes.

volleyball.jpg

There is no fast food.

Each man must take care of his three kids, keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects1), cook, do laundry, and pay a list of "pretend" bills2) with not enough money.

1) 理科の実習
2) 架空の請求書

 

In addition, each man will have to budget money for3) groceries each week.

3) calculate enough money for

 

Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives and send cards out4)on
time--no emailing.

4) カードを発送する

happy birthday.jpg

Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment, and a
haircut appointment.

He must make one unscheduled and
inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care5).

5) 外来治療

He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function6).

6) 社交の催し

 

Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside, and keeping it presentable7) at all times.

7) 見苦しくないように

 

The men will have access to8) television only when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

television.jpg

8)〔物や情報などを〕入手[利用]できる

The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, adorn themselves with9) jewelry,

 

9) ~を…で飾る、~に…をつける

 

wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, and keep fingernails polished and eyebrows groomed10).

10) ~をきれいにする、手入れする、きれいに整える

During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps and back aches and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties.

They must attend weekly school meetings and church and find time at least once each week to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.

They will need to read a book to the kids each night and in the morning, feed them, dress them, brush their teeth, and comb their hair by 7:00 a.m.


comb.jpg



A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothing size,
and doctor's name. He also must know the child's weight and length at birth,

time of birth, and length of labor11); and each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, and biggest fear. He also will know what they all want to be when they grow up.

11) 陣痛の時間

 

The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The last man wins only if he still has enough energy to spend quality time with12) his spouse at a moment's notice.

12) と大切な[充実した]時間を過ごす

spend quality time.jpg

If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years, eventually earning the right to be called Mother!
*


nice!(1)  コメント(0)  トラックバック(0) 
共通テーマ:お笑い

(439) Black nightshade [英作文]

(439) Black nightshade

weed in his flower pot.jpgPic. weed in his flower pot

Every weed has its name. I’d like to talk about how to know the name of weeds. The other day a Kenyan mother, my friend, quickly searched for the name of a weed in her son’s flower pot by her smart phone. I was impressed by her searching speed and curiosity. A few weeks later I saw a
peculiar weed and took a picture of this plant. The picture’s property says it was on Sep. 19. I tried to find its name on the Internet like my Kenyan friend. I wanted to know how soon I could get to the exact picture.
Weed at epic.jpgPic. unknown weed
I typed two key words into a search engine, Google. One is Budo, “grape”, because its fruit looked like a tiny grape. Another is Yama “wild”, because I thought it looked like a weed growing in the field. I instantly found several exactly the same kind of plants as this weed among pictures of Yama-budo (Crimson Glory Vine).
Yama-budo.jpgPic. Yama-budo?

This was unexpected result to me. I thought it would take me much more time to reach the picture of this plant. Google is really great. But there remained a little problem. Someone said its name was “Yamabudo” but others said no.
Yama-budo vine.jpgPic. Yama-budo vine 

Which is correct? On the next day, finally I reached its right name, Youshu-Yama-gobo. Its binominal name is Phytolacca americana. It has several names in English, such as American pokeweed, ink-berry and pokeberry. I got confident about searching of wild plant’s name by this result.

Youshu-yama-gobo.jpgPic. Youshu-yama-gobo

 Next I’d like to show you the first weed, which had grown in a student’s flower pot of housenka (Jewelweed or touch-me-not).
housenka.jpgPic. housenka

He told me that his Housenka was different from his friends’. He proudly showed me his housenka. He had brought back home from school during summer vacation. I was really astonished at his housenka. He was wrong. His housenka was just a weed, which already had its berries.
His housenka.jpgPic. His housenka

His mother and I started to talk about this plant. I told that its leaves had purple lines on them. I thought its leaves were similar to egg plants’. She told that its berries reminded her of African berries. She began to search for the name of this weed. She showed me pictures of similar berries by smart phone several times. Then she reached the goal. It was a black nightshade. I was very
surprised at her curiosity to the weed. She kindly found its Japanese translation for me.
Inu-hoozuki.jpgPic. Inu-hoozuki

Inu-hoozuki is its Japanese name. Its means useless Hoozuki (Chinese lantern plant).    Inu-hoozuki has two opposite flower languages. One is a liar, the other is truth. Hoozuki is not toxic but
inu-hoozuki is toxic. In this sense inu-hoozuki is a liar. Hoozuki’s fruits look big and beautiful but its inside is empty.
Hoozuki1.jpgHoozuki2.jpgPic. Hoozuki

Real fruit is a tiny seed covered with skin. So Chinese lantern plant’s flower language is deception. Inu-hoozuki fruit doesn’t have colorful covering. Additionally, though it is considered a toxic weed, plant parts are used as a traditional medicine. In this sense black nightshade deserve to mean truth in the language of flower.
*


nice!(0)  コメント(0)  トラックバック(0) 
共通テーマ:日記・雑感
メッセージを送る

この広告は前回の更新から一定期間経過したブログに表示されています。更新すると自動で解除されます。